Jimmy Struck It Rich
So I searched for this guy I used to date. He was a total loser. I went to Prom with him and we had sex for the first time that night — cliche! Then, like, three weeks later I find out he was dating a cheerleader from a town, two towns over in Roselle. Roselle, NJ is filled with whores, btw. I just wanted to say that. So Jimmy, that was the loser’s name, dates this other girl for like ten minutes and last I hear of him, he went to Hollywood to be an actor. Ha! Keep smokin that reefer, Jimmy! Keep smokin’ it! I figured he’d be a porn actor by now — this is seven years later. So I googlestalk his ass. Turns out he never made it as an actor — surprise, surprise. The googlestalking turned up his name as a top salesman for this company. Well, it look like Jimmy’s made something of himself. Then I dig a little bit into the website and it turns out he sells Bariatric beds. That’s right, he sells beds for fat chicks. That’s the dream, Jimmy. Congrats!
September 9th, 2008 at 5:09 am
At least he is doing something with his life. I still see some of my old classmates walking the streets of the town they live in. Never having made anything of themselves, they just hang around and breed.
September 9th, 2008 at 6:42 am
Oh my god. That was f*cking PRICELESS. Laughed until my sides hurt.
p.s. Do you have your own site? Because I must read more of your exploits.
September 12th, 2008 at 5:41 am
I guess he deserves it
!
September 15th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Not bitter then!
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
There’s nothing wrong with being a top salesman for a company selling bariatric beds. Those beds are avery expensive. And for him to earn a living in an honest hardwork manner is admirable. Some people get rich selling dope where they eventually end up in jails, before polluting our citizens’ brains with their products.
January 13th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
OMG… I laughed so hard. I made my partner pause the tv to read this posting… Girl, you are a bitter b*tch! Hysterical!!!!!! He’s a top salesman… who cares what he’s selling… what are you doing? Probably just watching after the 6 kids you’ve had with different fathers since you give it up so easy!
January 29th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
there’s nothing wrong with selling fat chick beds..but there’s also nothing wrong with staying in the same town and raising a family if that’s what you choose to do(bucky), a lot of people feel that that is the main point in life, to come full circle and bring a beautiful child into their lives. just b/c you don’t get to experience the amazing thing that is parenthood does not mean you need to knock on other people for choosing that life. if your parents hadn’t chosen that you wouldn’t be here either. and david..who the hell do you think you are?? do you even know this person? how dare you jump to conclusions about her and call her names? that just shows what kind of person you are. have you never had sex before? if you have, you’re a freakin hypocrite, and if you havent, well that says enough for you right there. i mean really, just shut the hell up.
January 30th, 2009 at 5:04 am
wow Lynn… maybe you need to get out of your little hole. Obviously you’ve never left your hometown and probably have 6 kids too… life’s short sweetie!