WHO ARE YOU STALKING?

I had been the other woman or #2 for years. Could have been #3 or #4 or hell, even higher. This man cheated at any given opportunity. He felt it was his birthright, and who was I to complain. I didn’t care much about others feelings at that time anyway. He was cheating on her, not me.

This went on for years – the sweet little thing had no idea. I didn’t like her anyway, afterall his ex wife was my best friend.

Then, I blew it.

He left her and began dating me. I actually thought I’d enjoy dating him. I knew he was a cheat, and I didn’t care. It’s best to be with someone that you don’t care about much anyway.

I made an error in this ofcourse, I actually fell for him. Hey, we all get dumb once in awhile.

So here he is, dumped her – she still lives at his house ’cause she’s in the middle of moving out and he’s living with me. Ta Da! I win, right?

… Oh Puhlease …

It’s funny how you can actually take a story like the above and THINK it can end in any good way.

So, a Google Stalking I go – ’cause I just feel something is up.

Sure is – found the missy’s blog and her description of their awesome sex as he is deciding weather he wants to be with her or me. Months of it. Including a post from that very morning. In very good detail I might add. With info from our household only he would know.

All I could do is laugh. Hey, seems to me she’s got more than any right – hell, he cheated on her with me.

Was I mad at her? Him? No, just me. We chose our reality, dating a man you were the 2nd woman with… well, figure it out girls.

What did I do? I printed it out – ALL of it thank goodness for laser printers, went to dinner with him that night. A romantic me and him kinda thing.

After I had asked him a few times, ever so sweetly – you know the drill “do you love ONLY me?”, “you’d never cheat on ME right?”. Ofcourse it’s “No, why the hell would you ask?”, “what you don’t trust me?”, “ofcourse I love only you.”!

Oh the laughter we had over that dinner. Until the bill came. I smiled and said “You’re paying Dear”. He frowned a bit and grabbed the check. I then placed the 1/2 a ream of printout of sex chronicles she wrote for him and smiled ever so sweetly.

His response? “She’s lying.”

Mine? “Oh, goodness – with how much she wrote?”

His response? “Yeah, she’s lying.”

My response? “Oh – poor baby, she must be in need of medication for that”

In the end of it?

Well, in my book she’s got her last word. I think she did just fine. Kudos to you missy – it’s even.

I’m a bouncer at a strip club so it makes sense that my co-worker is a stripper, right? Yeah. I wish I had pictures of my co-worker the stripper that I could show you. But I ain’t got no pictures. It’s against our strip club’s policy. Probably any strip club’s policy, but this is the only strip club I’ve ever worked at so I don’t know. Plus it might weird her out if I just started taking pictures of her. So what makes this stripper co-worker different than my other stripper co-workers? She’s not a skank. I mean, the other day, some guy tried to pay her to have sex with him and she handled it so gracefully. So my new co-worker that is a stripper, let’s call her Susie. Actually, that is her name, but I’m not telling you her full name. Okay, I will, it’s Susie —— (EDITOR’S NOTE: You can submit your Google Stalking stories, but you cannot use last names. We will delete them.)

So after a couple of conversations at the strip club with Susie, she tells me she used to live in Houston but not no more. Obviously. Cause we’re in Dallas. So I Google stalk her name plus Houston in Google and I come up with nothing. I assume she used a different name when she was in Houston so the next day I slide into the convo, asking if she used to go by a different name. Ya know? She says yeah, she did. Caroline. Shoot! Who’s she a Kennedy? So then I try her name as Caroline, still nothing. She’s bone dry on the Google front. Then the next day, I ask her if she was ever married. She was, but I can’t get her husband’s last name cause then she’ll just think I’m a stalker, forget the Google part. So when she’s on stage, wrapping her long, tanned legs around the pole, I search through her pocketbook and find a report card for her kid that I guess she had to sign and send back with him. Either way, on the report card is a different last name then I was searching. Must be her married name. Now I got what I need for some google stalking!

When I get home that night, I searched the new name and finally all of these results pop up. She was an accountant back in Dallas. Seems like she had a bad relationship where she had to file charges against her ex. She must’ve had to run to Houston to get away from some bad stuff. I knew she was different than all the other stripper skanks. Susie’s special. Now I gotta get the courage to ask her out.